No More Dreaming
by JolexMyHeart
Summary: Although I understand why they made Meredith be the one who Jo talked to involving Paul's death, that it didn't feel real. In my mind this conversation should've been with Alex. So I wrote a little one shot on my take on the conversation.


No more dreaming

Note: This is just a small one shot of how I believe the whole Jo talking about how she felt she was dreaming when it came to Paul's death. In my eyes, she should've been having these conversations with Alex, not Meredith.

* * *

Days, hours, minutes, seconds passed since the death of Paul Stadler. For Jo it felt unreal, for years she had dreamed about what it would be like to be free, to not have to live in fear. But now that the dream was a reality it just felt unreal. Maybe she was crazy for feeling this way, but after life in fear Jo felt like she had right to. Since that day which was now a week ago Jo had kept pinching herself to wake herself up. The red marks now on her arms were proof of that. Jo was good at hiding her emotions, with the contest looming the brunette hadn't wanted to say anything to Alex, he had a lot to focus on. But today she was walking the halls when out of insist her fingers had gone to her right arm to pinch it when she heard his voice.

For the last week, everything seemed to happen in fast motion. One minute Alex was seconds away from wanting to kill Paul, to the next the guy was fighting for his life. It was no secret that a part of him was happy Paul was dead; now he couldn't hurt Jo anymore. She would be free to live the life she wanted without worrying Paul would come for her. But since that day that he died, he noticed the little things about Jo. At night in his arms, she'd have her head on his chest, her fingers grasping hold of him. That wasn't the off part because that was the normal position Jo slept in since the day they got together. It was the occasionally tossing and turning when Jo believed he was asleep that worried him. When he would be getting ready in the morning, he'd see from afar his girlfriend was pinching her arm, just like she had in the moment when told Paul was dead.

He decided he'd talk to her about what was going on. But it was as if every time Alex brought the topic up she'd push the thought aside. Normally he wouldn't care but this was Jo, he cared and wanted to ensure she was dealing with everything okay. That day he was just finishing up with leaving Kimmie's room when he was walking through the narrow halls when he spotted Jo. He could spot her from a mile away. He started to walk toward the brunette placing a gentle hand on her arm. " Stop pinching yourself. You're inflicting a red mark onto your own arm." He whispered enough to where only Jo could hear him.

Of course, Alex caught on to what she's been doing. She should've known, Alex tended to notice all the small details especially when it came to her. Turning on her foot she felt herself stop in her tracks. Tilting her head to the side she glanced at the concern expression of her boyfriend. " I can't help it. I feel like I'm dreaming." Jo shrugged her shoulders.

" Wait you pinch yourself because of Paul?" Of course, it made sense the more he thought about it. Paul had been a threat for years, the fear that the guy would come and find her, but now Paul was dead. But to Jo is felt like it was some huge dream she was waiting to wake up from.

" Yes... I just for my whole life I've felt like he was one step behind me. I always feared he'd find me and kill me next time. It just feels like I'm dreaming. I'm free for the first time since I met him." It was almost too overwhelming to think about. The brunette was starting to think she might burst into tears as she realized it wasn't a dream. This was the reality.

Alex knew when Jo was getting emotional, he could tell when she was about to cry. The way she bit down on her lower lip and closed her eyes for a few seconds in hopes of pushing the tears back. That's when he placed a hand on her arm to lead Jo to the side of the hall, therefore, they weren't blocking anyone. Alex didn't waste time before he slipped his arms around her dainty waist and tug Jo's frame toward him. " It's okay to let it out." He whispered in the brunette's ear.

Jo swore her emotions combination with one another which is why the second she felt the comfort of his firm chest she dug her head into him. Alex always knew when she needed his comfort. The tears just appeared, starting to stream down her cheeks, bringing her hand up, she made her fingers start to wipe away the tears. That's when she stepped back, the vulnerable look in her eyes showing. " I'm sorry... I messed up your scrub top." She let a few laughs escape her lips.

" You know I don't care." Alex shook his head, a soft smile curved along his lips, one of his smiles that was reserved for Jo. He made sure his eyes had met hers as he gathered what he wanted to say. " I know you're in a stage of disbelief. But Paul is gone, you're safe. You don't have to live in fear anymore, but for what it's worth you're the bravest person I know." Alex thought so, through the whole ordeal with Paul, he was proud of Jo. He leaned over to rest his forehead against hers.

" Thank you, for never leaving my side." She whispered bringing her hands to cup his face. Jo felt lucky to have Alex, more than ever. He made her feel safe, he was her safe place to land.


End file.
